Say You Love Me
by Namek Kaia
Summary: Fluff Warning! TornKeira fic. Torn's POV. Our favorite captain of the Freedom League is questioning whether Keira really loves him or not. Does she still love Jak? All he needs is for her to say she loves him, and mean it.


**Say You Love Me**

By JakandTornSweetheart

Disclaimer: Naughty Dog owns all Jak and Daxter characters. :P They should be mine!

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Author's Note:** This is my birthday present… to myself. I'm 21 today (June 15th). Yay me! It got posted a little later than expected. Because it was my birthday, I slept in really late and went out drinking when I should have been writing. Well… I forgive myself. Lol. 

Me: Hey JATS, here's your birthday present! I wrote you a ficlet!

Me: How thoughtful! It's what I always wanted. ( _I really wanted alcohol. I'm 21! T.T_ )

Me: I made it a T/K, especially for you. I know you've been dying to read more. There really aren't enough of them.

Me: Thanks! Wait… it's not another songfic, is it?

Me: Well… uh… not really. Okay, yes, it is. But you know all my other fics turn out to be huge! And then it wouldn't be done for your birthday. Besides, it's a Darren Hayes song. :D

Me: Which one?

Me: "When You Say You Love Me" (_If you download it, you'll understand why this fic is so fluffy_.)

Me: Well, hurry up already! Get to it!

Me and Me: Enjoy, minna-san!

:D

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It was Thursday evening, and Torn sat in his usual booth at the Naughty Ottsel, just off to the side of the bar. Thursday night was an unusual night to go out and have a drink, but they had just finished the clearing out and rebuilding of the industrial section. More than that, the Naughty Ottsel had been remodeled back into a bar after being used as the Freedom League Headquarters during the second war. 

Therefore, there was plenty reason to celebrate… even for a Thursday. The usual group of friends decided to enjoy the Naughty Ottsel for themselves before it was officially open to the public again. And they planned to make a grand night of it.

Torn felt somewhat at ease for the first time in a long time. After everything that had happened, things were starting to simmer down to normal – whatever that was.

Among the music and chatter, the sound of girlish laughter broke out. His eyes easily picked Keira out of the crowd gathered at the bar. She leaned lazily against it, Jak on one side of her and Sig on the other.

_I've been watching you from afar_

_And the way you make your way around the bar_

_You laugh like you're really entertained_

_And you smile like it's your favorite game_

Daxter and Tess stood on the bar in front of her, sneaking touches and kisses when they thought no one was looking. Onin sat on the end of the bar, swaying this way and that with too much drink in her system. She was never one to handle alcohol very well. Pecker was nearby, as usual, and Keira's father sat not too far away, attempting to have a conversation with the inebriated blind woman.

Torn looked on the scene with a deeply hidden fondness. It reminded him of the celebration party almost two years ago, after taking down the Baron and saving the city from a Metal Head takeover.

The only difference this time was that Ashelin was hanging on to Jak instead of Keira. These days, Keira only hung on to him, and he intended to keep it that way.

She laughed again, sending that pleasantly weird feeling through his chest as she always did. Keira had been through so much over the last year. They all had. And it was more than a relief to see her happy again.

Of course, her drinking helped a bit with that.

"Who wants more drinks?" she called. Every one answered with an eager shout and a raise of their glasses.

His eyes were fixated on her as she pushed off from the bar and moved around to the back to pour another round. He watched as her hair fell in her face, and her lips twisted to blow it out from her eyes. With that charming smile that he loved, she passed out the drinks.

All except one.

_Now you're moving closer to me_

_And our eyes have connected emotionally_

Keira looked straight at him and grabbed the last glass as she started his way. She had spent so much time at the bar that he was beginning to wonder if she even remember he was there at all.

But the way she looked at him with that intense emotion in her eyes told him different. She always seemed to know where he was, even when he wasn't with her. Now, the look in her beautiful green eyes told him that he was the only thing she saw.

Sometimes that look scared him.

She set the glass on his table with a distinctive 'clink' and slid into the booth next to him. And before either of them could say anything, she kissed him with a slow and lingering touch of her lips.

Keira, he had decided, was the goddess of kissing. Whether it was heated with passion or soft with sweetness, or even just a peck, Keira said more to him with a kiss that she ever could with words. It made him glad that her kisses were for him alone. She was his alone.

He loved her. He really did love her. More than Ashelin. More than work.

More than anything.

_Not looking for a one night stand_

_Or a place where a broken heart can mend_

He and Keira had gotten together not too long after Jak and Ashelin had made it clear that they had feelings for each other. Keira had been heartbroken, and he tried to be there for her whenever she needed someone – even when she didn't realize she needed someone.

The first time they had slept together, she had thought it was just sex. That sex was all it would be. She didn't know that he had had feelings for her for almost as long as he had known her. Even while she was still with Jak.

Maybe she still didn't know.

Either way, he had made his intensions clear in none too many words. Talking about things like that was neither his habit nor his style. But he couldn't have just let Keira go on thinking that there was no emotional side to what they had been doing.

And eventually, a physical attraction had grown into something much much more. Or, at least it had for him.

He also knew it didn't happen because their lovers had left them. He couldn't lie to himself and say that Ashelin hadn't hurt him, but he also couldn't say that Keira was just a band aid.

No, Keira was everything to him. She was the exact opposite of him – bright and breezy when he was hard and irritable. Loving was like second nature to her. Her kind-heartedness was endearing to him. She was entirely and completely lovable.

And he did love her. To him, she wasn't just some fling or a way to take his mind off Ashelin.

_I know everybody here wants to hold you_

_I know what it's like 'cause I feel the same_

_When you look in my eyes there's a part of me that's still afraid_

Out of habit, his arm moved to rest along the top of the booth, enclosing her with his body without really touching her. Public displays of affection weren't his thing either. No matter how much he really wanted to touch her. To feel her. To make sure that all this was real.

Was it real?

Her hand rested on his thigh, and she smiled that charming smile of hers again. "Why don't you come over to the bar with everyone else? You've been over here all by yourself all night."

He gave a soft 'hmph' and turned his eyes back to the drink in front of him. "I don't do social events."

"You do social things with me," she argued. Her eyes hadn't lost that playful twinkle and her mouth was still stretched in a smile.

"That's different," he said, and took a sip of his drink.

She kissed him as he set his drink down, a deeper kiss to taste the alcohol on his tongue. It was something she did when she was feeling playful. And who was he to complain? He liked it just as much as she did.

When she pulled back, he could see her faintly blush and look away, like she was thinking of something she didn't want him to find out about.

And after all that, she was still smiling. It was like she couldn't stop. He didn't really care though, because she still didn't smile as much as she used to. He'd have to remember to tell her later how beautiful she looked when she smiled.

Not here though. When they were alone.

Yet, there were still times when Torn though that maybe she didn't love him as much as he loved her, if she loved him at all. She and Jak had been childhood sweethearts. Sometimes it was a little hard for him to be convinced that she was over him. Or that she wasn't just with him to make herself forget.

He felt a little guilty for even thinking it, but good things like this didn't just happen to him every day. They rarely happened to him… ever. It was natural to question it… right?

After a quick glance to the others, she slinked an arm around his waist and leaned into him more. "I love you," she said softly so no one else would hear, and rested her head against his shoulder.

_And when you say you love me do you mean it?_

_Baby, when you hold me, do you feel it?_

_Should I believe the magic in your eyes?_

_I will wait until the end of time…_

He didn't, or rather couldn't, say it back to her here, but he didn't think she really expected him to. She got extra affectionate when she drank. But again, he wasn't one to complain about it.

I love you…

She said it quite often. She said it like she meant it every time. But did she really mean it? Did she mean it like he meant it when he said it?

Did that soft pang of emotion shoot through her when he touched her? Did she feel completely safe in his arms? Did he make her feel like she made him feel when they were together?

It shouldn't matter, really. She was with him, not Jak. That was what mattered. If she didn't love him now, maybe she would later. He could wait until then. He could wait forever, as long as she was there.

_To hear you say you love me like you mean it_

_Baby, when you hold me, make me feel it_

_All I wanna do it make you mine_

_I've been hurt way too many times_

Still… he wished there was some way to tell. To determine if their relationship was as one-sided as he hoped it wasn't.

He should just ask her outright if it was going to bother him that much. But if he did that, she might admit the very thing he feared and leave him. Or she might leave him anyway for not trusting her feelings.

Torn couldn't bear to lose her. But it hurt not to have all of her.

Somehow, he would make her his. He didn't know how yet, but eventually – provided he didn't screw up – he would do something that would make her love him the way he loved her.

"Something wrong?" she asked. "You have that look on your face like you're losing against the enemy and don't know what to do next." He looked down into her face, into her large green eyes that waited for his answer. "Is there something I can do?"

Yes… you can say you love me, and mean it.

He attempted a small smile. "There's nothing wrong at all."

A smile crept slowly across her lips. "Good. You know how I hate it when you don't tell me things," she said and then pulled him down to her for another kiss.

Yes… Keira was definitely very affectionate when she was drunk.

This kiss was longer. Slower. She pulled him into it with the sweet caress of her lips and those soft sweeps of her tongue. He was so into the kiss that his serious exterior faltered as his hands came up to frame her face.

It was times like these that he never wanted to stop kissing her. It was times like these that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.

_They say if you wanna make God laugh_

_Then all you gotta do is tell him your plan_

_And I know that the timing's not right_

_Didn't know I would meet you tonight_

Tomorrow would be exactly six months that they had been together. For weeks, he had been thinking about asking her to move in with him. Not that they didn't practically live with each other already. She either stayed the night at his suite, or vice versa.

But Torn wanted to make it official. He wanted to make sure that she really loved him, and what they had wasn't just a way for her to get over Jak.

Besides, it would be nice to not have to sneak out of each other's rooms before everyone else found out. Sure, everyone knew they were together, but things had moved fast. And Torn had fallen in love before he knew what was going on.

Perhaps that was why he was having all these doubts. He had never been in such a serious relationship before. Of course, he had never felt like this about anyone before either. Keira was special.

He hated to keep going circles in his mind, but he really couldn't believe any of this was really happening to him. It was his habit to question good things in a world that had been none too kind to him. Until now, that is.

_It's not that I don't really like the attention_

_I feel like the only man in the room_

_Are you really sincere?_

_Is this just something that you do?_

He was about to pull himself away from her when he heard a loud, collective groan.

"God, Keira! Get a room!" Daxter called from bar and drunkenly lobbed an umbrella topper in their general direction, although he missed horribly. And suddenly Torn and Keira were dodging a whole barrage of the paper drink decorations.

Before she buried her face in his neck, Torn saw her blush furiously. The uncertainty in him dared to wonder if she was embarrassed to be with him or embarrassed to be caught.

He tossed a half-hearted glare at his friends at the bar and tossed one of the umbrellas back across the room.

To tell the truth, he was a little embarrassed himself. He didn't deal with attention well. Unless it was Keira's attention, and then he wanted all of it he could get.

She had the amazing ability to make him feel… like he had never felt before. Sometimes, he felt like the only man she saw. Like he was the only man alive. She made him feel… loved.

Did she really?

Sure, she said she loved him, but she also said that to her friends. Was it just a phrase of endearment toward him? Or was it a deep expression of the heart?

Was it just something that she did? To thank him for being there? Or did she really mean it?

He didn't know why, but this uncertainty stuff was really starting to piss him off. He would just have to ask her, and then beg forgiveness or whatever else he had to do to keep her with him.

For some reason, he just wasn't satisfied with what he had.

When everyone had gone back to their own business, Keira removed herself from him, and inched away a bit. "I think I'd like to go home now."

"Alright. Let's go," he said and helped her out of the booth and out the door.

_Again and again and again I've been hurt my friend, till the end_

_You know I've been high I've been low. I got no place left to go_

_Again and again and again will this search ever end?_

Torn had decided. He would take her back to his place and just ask her. It didn't matter what happened afterward. He had to know or he would doubt her love more and more until he seriously screwed up the best thing that had ever happened to him.

If he lost Keira because of this, he didn't know what he'd do with himself. She was the only thing that made him feel better when everything seemed to be going wrong. He would never be alone as long as he had her.

No… solving this now was a lot better on his heart than to ignore it and have her leave him somewhere down the road. He needed to do this now, before he got so attached to her that he couldn't let her go.

But wasn't he already there? Wasn't he already to the point where it would be too painful to lose her?

He saw her shiver as they reached the empty zoomer outside of the Naughty Ottsel, and he wrapped the riding jacket around her that he had grabbed on his way out.

She looked up at him, and smiled, snuggling into the warmth of the coat. "What would I do without you, Torn?"

If his mind kept playing games with him, she'd know the answer to that question a lot sooner than later.

"I'm sure you'd manage somehow," he said. He expected her, wanted her, to say that she couldn't ever live without him. Just like he couldn't live without her. But instead, she giggled and said nothing.

So much for that, he thought.

When he had assured himself that Keira wouldn't fall off the zoomer, he sat in front of her – an amazing feat for the one-person zoomer – and started toward Freedom League headquarters in Main Town. Well… what was now Main Town. The old one had been demolished when the Palace had fallen.

"I love you," she said, and wrapped her arms around his waist. She snuggled into his back like he was some sort of teddy bear.

_And when you say you love me do you mean it?_

_Baby when you hold me do you feel it?_

_Should I believe the magic in your eyes?_

_I will wait until the end of time… _

Right then, Torn felt an extra-special pang of guilt. Of course Keira love him. How could he have ever thought otherwise? _He_ was the one that she kissed at night. She slept in _his_ arms every night. She didn't look at him like he was just any other person.

But that was all physical, he reminded himself. That was part of it, but he had no idea what she thought, or what she felt.

Was she in love with him? Or not?

Somewhere in the middle of this endless circle of thought, he felt her hand start to roam over his chest in slow strokes. Then it moved lower… and lower… and…

"Keira! How do you expect me drive if you're going to do _that_?"

Thank god they were nearly through the Slums and approaching Main Town. Much more of that and he'd crash them into the wall.

"I'm sorry," her muffled voice answered. "I'll stop if you don't like it."

"Don't be stupid, Keira. I just don't want to die before we get home." He grabbed the wrist of her wandering hand and brought it to his mouth, planting a warm kiss against her palm. He pressed the hand back against his chest and tried to concentrate on driving. Thinking about how her small hands felt on him would do him no good here.

"We're almost there," he said as he turned the corner to enter Main Town. "Just wait a bit longer." With that, he picked up speed. It was the middle of the night, and no one in their right mind would be cruising the streets at this hour. He hoped.

"Fine." He could hear the pout in her voice, and it almost made him smile. She was so cute when she was pouting.

_To hear you say you love me like you mean it_

_(Oh baby when you hold me)_

_When you hold me, make me feel it_

_Should I believe the magic in your eyes?_

_I will wait until the end of time_

_To hear you say you love me_

Keira didn't wait long. They came stumbling through the door to his suite in the middle of a heated kiss, arms and legs in a tangle. The first time this had happened, they fell to the floor countless times before reaching the bed. But six months of practice allowed them to stumble straight to the bed.

So far, he had only removed her jacket and she had only removed his weapons and armor. Somewhere along the way, they had both kicked their boots off.

Torn felt the edge of the bed against the back of his knees, and he fell backward with her in his arms. Then with a slow slink of her body, Keira inched upward and straddled him, all without breaking their kiss.

After a moment, he sat up with her in his lap. His lips moved from her lips to leave a trail of butterfly kisses along her jaw and down her neck. There he suckled and nipped, just like he knew she liked.

"Mmmm… I love it when you do that." And even though she said that, she pulled him away so she could kiss him again.

But just as soon as it began, it ended. "Keira… wait."

She looked almost sad, as if she thought she had done something wrong. "What?"

_Come on baby…_

"I…"

"Torn, what is it?"

_Say you love me_

Keira looked confused at him then, but then she said, "Okay. I love you." Then she kissed him. "I love you. I love you. I love you a thousand times."

Oh god… had he said that aloud?

"How many times would you like me to say it?"

Well… it was now or never.

"Until you mean it. Really mean it."

They sat in silence for a moment. She still sat in his lap. He still held her in his arms. Their faces were inches away from each other.

The whole thing was killing him. If she was going to get mad and walk out on him, she needed to do it now before he went insane.

Then, she laughed. That same infectious, bubbly sound that overpowered all other sound. That same laugh that caught his attention tonight at the bar.

She was laughing at him?

"Torn… did you hit yourself on the head?"

"I… no, I didn't. What are you talking about?"

"Well then are you daft?"

"Of course not!"

"So what did I do? Whatever it is, I'm sorry. You should have told me when I did it so I'll know not to do it again."

"Keira, you're talking nonsense. You haven't done anything at all."

"Then what's all this talk about me not loving you? Have I done something to make you doubt me?" She sounded hurt, and it was like a knife though the chest.

"It's not that," he said. Now he was feeling really guilty, more so than before. Clearly, this whole thing had been a mistake. He should have never brought it up. He should have let well enough alone. "I know you love me."

"Then what's wrong?"

"Nothing… it's just…"

"Damn it, Torn! What the hell is wrong?"

"Are you IN love with me?"

It was hit or miss time, and he prayed to the Precursors – fuzzy ottsels though they may be – that they would go easy on him.

She looked at him warily, like so simple a question couldn't possibly be what he really wanted to know. Her smile didn't appease him any either.

Her hands framed his face, her thumbs brushing the skin just under where his tattoos ended. "Torn, you stupid stupid man." She pushed him so he leaned back on his hands, and then crossed her arms over his chest.

That look did not bode well for him.

She tried to keep a serious expression, but she failed miserably. She smiled and sighed at the same time. "I didn't think it needed to be said. I thought you knew already. But if you need to hear it, then I guess there's no harm in telling you."

Torn almost gulped. This was the part where she shattered his heart and his dreams, even while she was still sitting there in his lap.

At least she hadn't stormed out of his room yet. He still had a few minutes left before his whole world came crashing in on him.

"Torn, I do love you. I care about you more than you could ever know. You were there for me when no one else was, when I didn't even realize that I needed someone to be there for me. Jak… he was my first love. My first everything. And I didn't know what to do after he left. Then you came along and helped me through it. Even still, as much as I've tried not to, there's a part of me that's always going to love him. But I… I can't love you like I love him."

And there it was. The blow that stole his breath and made his stomach turn. She loved Jak and not him.

Not him.

She made a sound like she was struggling with her words. "I tried to love you like I love him. I tried to ignore my feelings because I didn't want to be hurt again. But it didn't matter. You wedged your way into my heart anyway. And you made me feel things that I didn't know I could feel. Feelings that I didn't even have for Jak. You made me love you more that I thought a person could be loved. It scares me how much I love you."

What the hell? She loved him? Didn't she just say…

"I don't know when or how, but I fell helplessly, head-over-heals, stupid-crazy in love with you. You gave me hope when I thought I had none left. You picked me up and put me back together again, and I came out better this time. You were supposed to be my friend, my brother, but it wasn't enough.

"So do you see now? Do you? Do you understand that you're all I can ever think about? Do you understand how my heart soars right out of my body when you touch me or kiss me or look at me like I'm the only woman in the world? Because that's how you make me feel.

"When I have a bad day, all you have to do is put your arms around me, and I forget everything. If I'm frustrated or angry, all you have to do is kiss me and I melt. You're my heart and my soul, and the air I breathe, Torn. I want you to come home every night to me and no one else. I want to ease away the anger and the hurt, or whatever it is that makes that deep line in your forehead.

"I want to wake up to you every morning and go to sleep in your arms every night. I want to make love to you more times than I can count. I want to have your children. Or not. Whatever you want… I don't care. I just want to be with you.

"Just you."

Torn sat up, his hands at his side. After all that, after all his doubts, she really did love him. What a fool he was to think anything else. He mouth opened and closed, opened and closed, but no words came out. What could he say after all that?

"So don't you ever say that I don't love you. Don't ever think that my heart belongs to anyone but you."

"I was afraid that you were still in love with Jak," he said.

She gave a small, sympathetic smile. Like he couldn't have known any better. Like he was sadly mistaken.

"Jak never loved me like you love me. He never came home and just wrapped me in his arms for no reason other than he couldn't help not to. He never kissed me softly or for hours on end. He didn't make love to me like you make love to me. You make me feel… You make me feel like none of this can be real.

"Don't I make you feel like that?"

It made him a little uncomfortable to say. But this was Keira. _His_ Keira. So… what the hell.

He touched his forehead to hers. "Every second of every day."

They both smiled.

She moved her lips to his, but he pulled away. "So… will you stay with me?" he asked.

"Well I'm already here, aren't I?" She moved to try to kiss him again, and he evaded her.

"No… I mean all the time. Will you stay here… with me… all the time?"

"You're asking me to move in with you?"

He nodded. "I wanted to wait until tomorrow, but –"

Her lips pressed hard against his, and she wrapped her arms tightly around him. Then when neither of them could breathe, she pulled back.

"I guess that's a yes," he said, and she laughed.

"I love you," she said.

A playful smile spread across his mouth. "When you say you love me, do you mean it?"

Her smile matched his, and she nodded.

"Always."

* * *

Okay… it was a fluff-fest really, but I was feeling extra mushy, and it is MY birthday, so I made it that way. And I don't care if you like it or not! No… I'm kidding.Please review and tell me if you liked it or hated it. This was just a little something that the song inspired, and I felt like taking a day off to write it. Darren Hayes just inspires romance in me with his songs. I've got at least two or three more T/K songfics in mind because of him. :D Anyways, please review! And Happy Birthday… to me! 


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